I have so much that I am willing to give to people. I want to help people with their problems and make them smile and love them and care for them and give them everything they deserve. But I feel like nobody wants all of that from me. I feel like I can be the nicest person to someone, but I’ll be taken the advantage of. I have to deal with thoughts of thinking that there’s ALWAYS someone better, even if someone tells me that I’m already good enough. There are so many aspects that lead me feeling like this due to experiences from my past that I still think about today. I can give my all to someone and I’ll still feel like they deserve much better. I deal with the fear of people leaving me behind to find someone better. I deal with always trying to get a point across, but never finding the right words. I deal with being replaced by someone more preferable. I deal with trying my best to satisfy the ones I love or else they’ll think I’m worthless. I always have to put someone I admire before myself when it comes to helping them with they’re problems, even though I’m already dealing with problems of my own. I feel like they’ll think I’m a useless friend that doesn’t care about their feelings if I’m not there for them. I deal with feeling beautiful one day, but I’ll still have that feeling of low-self esteem somewhere inside of me. Doubts invade my mind and penetrate inside as time goes by. Nothing seems to stimulate the fact that I AM good enough. I want to be accepted by others without being someone I’m not. The outcome to this makes me want to punish myself for not being what I imagine being good enough is & by this, I mean having my body as a canvas to a blade. There can be so much running in my head and I always find a negative way to release my emotions. I want to figure out why I feel this way and once I find out, I will take the advantage of it and transform myself into a more confident human being.

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